Some Poems 1998? - 2003?

Typed up from the archives. some of them may well have been lyrics at some point. Some soppy as fuck stuff in here, and some nonsense.

While doing this archiving I remembered that I destroyed at least half of everything I'd ever written during an episode of depression in my 2nd year of university. I'll have to assume most of it was worse than this ;)

_______

The whole room smells like wasp

Coming for the 7th china

I’ve seen the camel stoppard

Even if it floats

_______

Moobaa

The chimp chi ping

Screaming at the button

Find a way to steal the pit

Falling from Swansea

_______

Under

The fault lines

It’s clear as day

The way

It pulled you in

And burned up everything

The simple and the

Underlying

The complex

Now they are just

Like they always were

Just like they always were

_______

Hope for a new day

You must know that this comes straight from the heart

Somehow I knew it right from the start

Filling my dreams with nothing but you

I might not be perfect, but you're not quite too

The most chance of meetings, a cold winter night

Then nothing for months once out of my sight

But just one year later, your address I saw

I knew from that moment that I wanted more

The purest love could have lasted for years

We had some great times and we had some tears

Eight months later we stared at the stars

I think we knew then that we couldn't go far

So I'll accept defeat by circumstance

And always remember our final dance

But my romantic's brain will never change tack

And I'll dream of the day that I'll have you back

_______

Chicken chi in a fat child’s coffin

Stealing fish from a Chinese elf

Stalking cheese for sport or leisure

Keeping a record of interesting ham

_______

What we’ve got is sinking

Does that get you thinking

If all the ways you could escape

But the routes are twisted

Lifeboats unlisted

I’ve seen your eyes stare into space

_______

You wake up in a pool of something sticky

Waiting for the alarm

To stop

To die

You hear breathing in the trees

Something living

Something

You find it

Seeping into your skin

Taking you

Piece

By

Piece

Finally you realise

There are no more words

_______

Instant Message

I’ve never met you

But I’m sad you’re leaving

We got on so well

But we’ll never talk

I never saw you

I’ll never see you

You could be anything

Is it better this way?

_______

If the words we say

The choices we make

Come to nothing

If this is how it has to be

I don’t want to feel anything

Anymore

Sometimes it’s all a mass of pain and impossible to read or interpret

Sometimes I can make out

Tangible parts

Reasons

Excuses

But never the real cause

_______

ice and fire. 5/9/03

your attitude

depends on the situation

so pretend that this shitty disco

is your natural habitat

if you're so sure

of what you want and what you need

then tell me what you really mean

with this frozen heart charade

but if you try

to find the truth in yourself

maybe you will find

these harsh actions won't help

they only make it worse

and only you don't see

how obvious that was

and how it's killing me

so watch it burn

_______

What happened to me today? Jan 2002

I came to see you.

Maybe to patch things up

Maybe just to get my CD's back.

Two weeks since you brought it to an end

Two weeks of nothing inside.

You couldn't handle me living so far away.

We both needed more affection

But I needed you more than I'm ever going to let on.

Today I accepted what has passed.

We'll torture ourselves for a few weeks

Then live with the consequences

And think about what could have been.

What should have been.

And I'll go back without hope

And you'll just cry

Trying to sift through the confusion

Of what happened tonight.

A love that could never die

Left wounded with ends untied.

_______

Release

I’m leaving this town

As soon as I can

Nothing here for me

Only ignorance

Hate this place so much

Take it off the map

No one here for me

Only losers

Release me

Save me from isolation

Release me

Save me from degradation

Release me

Or else I’ll die and rot here

Release me

Or else I’ll waste away

I need to escape soon

No horse loser town

Nothing here for me

Only emptiness

Still some trapped in here

Scraping at the sides

Nothing here for me

Only loneliness

_______

Catcher in the rye

Spent you life digging your own hole

Back to the place where they took your soul

I know I’ve seen your face before

Haunts my dreams

Try to run, try to hide

Can’t escape the pain inside

Want to kick, poison state

All there’s left to do is hate

And the riot in the streets below

Years of tension start to show

I’d join in if I knew how

Nothing else can stop me now