Calista: a lyric archive

I think Calista formed in 2001, possibly 2000. Three of Digital Synapse went to the same Saturday music thing in Mansfield, so it made sense for us to play together there.

The lineup was

Luke: Vocals/guitar
Tim: Bass
Trav: Drums

We played a few of the DS songs as well as the below. Somewhere out there is a demo we did together, but I never got to hear it. There is a tape of me doing some of these, but that's for another day. Some of these songs never got played live.

So, them lyrics:
_______

Serration

Never met you
So I can't miss you
Never knew you
But feel the pain you caused

Your selfish actions
Sent out shockwaves
Your influence
More important than you thought

Why'd you have to leave?
Took her heart away
Left with emptiness
She just takes the blame

Why'd you have to leave?
Took her heart away
Left with emptiness
She just takes the blame

Never met you
So I can't miss you
But I know her
And I feel the pain you caused

You have my sympathy
She has my empathy
This changes everything
But nothing's truly lost
_______

Falling

I've been doing fuck all for the best years of my like
My two and only best friends are my shotgun and my knife
Tried so hard but still I failed to fucking get away
Hope my friends can help me out, we're going down today

Can't take no more
Forced down by law
Gets worse every day
Denied our only say

The pain is still too much to take, my memories took away
Don't know if I'll survive or break, don't matter anyway
We won't even get a choice, our dreams will be destroyed
I'm confused, my brains abused, I'm opening a void

Can't take no more
Forced down by law
Gets worse every day
Denied our only say

After all this abuse I've been carried in the flow
Turned up in this fucked up town, but why I just don't know
Tried to make a difference, but I can't make amends
Looks like I got here just in time, I'm back to see the end

Can't take no more
Forced down by law
Gets worse every day
Denied our only say
_______

Horizontal Rain

Indecisiveness seems to drag
My decision made but still seems so confused
I thought the game was over
And I could end all this flailing
It was a long time coming but now it's just all wrong

My Emotions
Poorly concealed
Behind a facade
Of Misplaced Optimism
My Emotions
Poorly concealed
Here comes the cynicism
Here comes the cynicism

Waiting so long
For a glimpse of hope
A glimpse was all I got so i return to my old face
Is it ruined, or can I salvage something?
I have to carry on
Without my confidence
_______

Initiation

All it takes is a little persuasion
All it takes is a little persuasion
Doesn't need encouragement
Already willing
Already able
A little Dutch courage makes the task much easier

It's all part of the plan
It's all part of the plan
Painful but still worthwhile
Likely to happen
Interest is noted
Mary Jane makes the task much easier

To feel the confusion
To make the mistake
A permanent tear
A permanent tear
A permanent regret
That you'll learn to live with

An expression of joy and guilt
Clashing with turmoil
An expression of joy and guilt
Beginning to become more obvious

A rip in new fabric
Can never mend completely
_______

Amber

There is no reason
For my depression
No scars on my arms
I try to stay calm

I can't stop these things from happening
I can't stop the pain inside
I can't help you with your problems
I can't find a place to hide

I care as much as you do
I hurt as much inside
I try to keep myself together
Despite attempts to fall apart

I can't stop these things from happening
I can't stop the pain inside
I can't help you with your problems
I can't find a place to hide

I need your help
I won't take your help
You won't give your help
Lets just stop argueing

I need your help
I won't take your help
You won't give your help
Lets just stop caring
_______

Concrete Desert

All alone
I watch the sun go down
Inside my home
Inside this fucked up town
But now I know
I'll never be the same

I drive and drive
She smokes and starts to laugh
It's hollow tones
It's murky aftermath
Another load
As we try to get away

See the man, he haunts your window
Slips underneath the door
Feel the warmth until it comes home
You're coming back for more

Coffee drained
Your turn to make it now
It's kinda strange
That you're in my house now
I turn away
As you break a little more

There's nothing left
We stumble out the door
Take a deep breath
"She's just a fucking whore!"
Your anger vented
Wonder who invented jealousy

See the man, he haunts your window
Slips underneath the door
Feel the warmth until it comes home
You're coming back for more
_______

Going

Think I might just kill myself
'Cause I don't matter anymore
You don't think I have the guts
And so you dare me

I think that I'm insane
When I hear these voices in my brain
Don't think I'll take the strain
As I feel the anguish, feel the pain
I think that I'm insane
When I hear those voices start to gain
Telling me I'm going...
Telling me I'm going...

You fucked me up so often now
So much that I hate myself
I didn't ask for your opinion
But you'll soon get mine

I think that I'm insane
When I hear these voices in my brain
Don't think I'll take the strain
As I feel the anguish, feel the pain
I think that I'm insane
When I hear those voices start to gain
Telling me I'm going...
Telling me I'm going...

You made my life a misery
So I just cling to sanity
Is it brave or is it spineless?
I'm too far gone

I think that I'm insane
When I hear these voices in my brain
Don't think I'll take the strain
As I feel the anguish, feel the pain
I think that I'm insane
When I hear those voices start to gain
Telling me I'm going...
Telling me I'm going...
_______

No Regrets

Don't know, don't care
I'm out there somewhere don't ask me where
Unclean, insane
Too many thoughts inside my brain
I'm great, I'm fine
So leave those things alone, they're mine
That's nice, you're free
And you think that's fucking anarchy

How pretentious can you get?
I havn't even started yet
How fucking stupid can you be?
You try to suck the life from me
How pretentious can you get?
I havn't even started yet
How fucking stupid can you be?
You try to suck the life from me

No face, no life
Feel my anger, feel my knife
Members only
I waste my fucking energy
Bastard, violate
I wish that you could feel my hate
Kill all, better yet
I'm all fucked up with no regrets

How pretentious can you get?
I havn't even started yet
How fucking stupid can you be?
You try to suck the life from me
How pretentious can you get?
I havn't even started yet
How fucking stupid can you be?
You try to suck the life from me
_______

Morality Bank

I've suffered years of self abuse
If that comes close to an excuse
I hate the way I make me feel
Sadistic thoughts that seem so real

I can't accept
The simple things
The basic hatred
That life brings
We never really
Get a chance
We're all victims
Of circumstance

I've learnt to hate the human race
These people think I'm a disgrace
Taste their official poisoned lies
As my own mind crawls up and dies

I can't accept
The simple things
The basic hatred
That life brings
We never really
Get a chance
We're all victims
Of circumstance

(slow guitar bit to verse music)

We will forever be denied
All of the things they seek to hide
I can't believe a word they say
It doesn't matter anyway

I can't accept
The simple things
The basic hatred
That life brings
We never really
Get a chance
We're all victims
Of circumstance

You think of no one but yourself
You fucked my head up, killed your health
Now our excuse has gone away
Seems like there nothing more to say

(guitar bit to chorus music)

I can't accept
The simple things
The basic hatred
That life brings
We never really
Get a chance
We're all victims
Of circumstance

I can't accept
The simple things
The basic hatred
That life brings
We never really
Get a chance
We're all victims
Of circumstance

(finish with verse music)
_______

Sprit Matrix

Can you help me
Get over this distraction
I don't know now
Need more information
You go further
My head starts to cry out
It's so clear now
Can't conceal my hatred now

Never thinking what you're thinking
Only drinking what you're drinking
Never showing what you're knowing
Never knowing where I'm going

Can you help me
Get over this distraction
I don't know now
Need more information
You go further
My head starts to cry out
It's so clear now
Can't conceal my hatred
You can't conceal what you feel, this is real
So go away, you can say I can't stay
And now I'm here to stop myself from falling down,
From falling out
From falling anywhere with you

Never thinking what you're thinking
Only drinking what you're drinking
Never showing what you're knowing
Never knowing where you're going
_______

Tarantino

I never thought you'd mean anything to me
Then I saw you there and I can see

You were using me
All that time
You couldn't
Make up your mind

Now I'm left defenseless
Girls like you just make me senseless

chorus:
Should have never even kissed you
Should have never even talked to you
Should have never called you up
You do you have to be so fucked up

I never thought you'd mean anything to me
Then I saw you there and I can see

I want her
I need her
I hate her
Can't have her

Now I'm left defenseless
Girls like you just make me senseless
_______

When I'm Gone

Sitting
Waiting for a flash of inspiration
But I can't find the words to say
About how it feels to be going away

Chorus:
When I'm gone remember
I will always be here for you
When I'm gone remember
I will be there right beside you
When I'm gone remember
I am here waiting for you
When I'm gone remember
It won't be the same but we can try

Just when I find the other pieces
Fate tries to snatch them all away
And while I'm never truly happy
At least right now I can smile
_______

So that was that. We parted ways in September 2001. The last song we played live was an improvised thing we originally called "The End Of Western Civilisation" but then 9/11 happened and it seemed a bit close to the bone, so we called it the more accurate "End of Calista".