Saturday, 1 February 2014


Having failed with a few experiments at getting a collaborative blog going, all my new nonsense will go here.

This year I will mostly be working on a musical about zombies and a new band:

Zombie Vs Nerds - a zombie musical - script complete, pre production ongoing, watch this and various other spaces.

Love Gravel - a grungy band. No recordings online as yet.

Updates on these and other things whenever I can be arsed.

Monday, 16 December 2013

I forgot about this blog!

Until approximately 7 minutes ago I forgot all about this blog which I too was invited to be part of, seeing as I am having some down time I thought I would share with you some ramblings.

On considering what exactly I should blog about I had a number of options which  are as follows:
a) a repetitive rant about a bad school I have recently worked in
b)what I have been up to musically recently (I left Old Suits last November which gives me little to contribute other than my getting quite cocky with a mock wood ukulele). 
c) A pointless yet amusing story with no moral
d) A 500 word snipe at Manchester United's current position in the Premier League. United fans (many of whom are not from Manchester and those that are not are possibly considering supporting their local team like everybody else does this season) will merely make a joke about money *ahem-pot, kettle, back* and use phrases such as Champions League, Barcelona and Council House to insult me. Needless to say I would inform them that I have never lived in a council house (not that there is any thing wrong with that) and remind them that this season we have scored 47 goals and Barcelona have scored 44. 

Anyway, tangents aside I decided on neither of these options as aside from option C everything else has already been summed up. Instead I am going to talk about tourettes syndrome. The reason being is that I apparently have it. I have always had a tic, mainly nodding and the occasional limb movements  and nothing more. However in recent months it has gotten worse and the more I think about it the worse it has become. 

Two weeks ago I started saying words, 'shit' and 'coin' for some reason are favorites. I believe this is purely psychological as before I started undergoing tests I did not have any vocal tics and if I did they were rare!

I have to say that despite the embarrassment the tics can cause people are so wonderfully understanding. I am lucky that it is minor. Friends make jokes, even my partner does impressions. My reaction is to laugh at it too, it really is funny though! Saying the word 'coin!' out of the blue is strange which suits me just fine. I am strange. As long as there is no malice (which there isn't) it is all good. 

Anyway, I have rambled enough. 

Over and out! 

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Apparently my guinea pig is a racist.

Zelda is 7 months old. She enjoys carrots, hay, doom metal and twerking.

Zelda is a racist, according to some media pundits.

I am not sure when 'twerking' became a racially specific practice, but apparently only women of african decent are allowed to do it without it being either racism or cultural appropriation. This will come as a great shock to people in nightclubs around the world, not to mention the guinea pig population. Turns out you weren't have a good time doing a sexually suggestion dance, you were being racist.

I put this to Zelda, who replied "WHEEK WHEEK WHEEK WHEEK WHEEK WHEEK WHEEK", which I took to be a strenuous denial of the accusation of racism.

Link is also a guinea pig who enjoys twerking. 

As Link is partially black The Guardian says it is ok for him to twerk.

Link states "WHEEK WHEEK WHEEK", which roughly translates as "what a load of bollocks, were both Peruvian for a start and we've been shaking our arses for centuries. Does The Guardian just hate guinea pigs? Fascists".

In other news a mallard is suing thousands of teenage girls over their appropriation of the 'duckface'. Cats launch class action lawsuit against entire Internet over defamation of character regarding a long running campaign implying they are illiterate.

Friday, 17 May 2013

Evenings With Jonah Matranga and Walter Schreifels

Someone pointed out that I haven't done a gig review in ages. This is a attempt to address that lack.

I went to see Walter Schreifels and Jonah Matranga play separate shows in the same week in April, both solo shows from people better known for their bands. Here are my thoughts.


Walter Schreifels played at Manchester's Ruby Lounge on 22nd April. You might be familiar with his bands Rival Schools, Quicksand or indeed Gorilla Biscuits - the man is a legend of hardcore and post-hardcore.

It would also appear that he's obsessed with Joy Division and The Buzzcocks, making frequent reference to Peter Hook's current book and dropping in a Buzzcocks medley (indeed he's done a cover of 'Why Can't I Touch It?' on Rival Schools' 'Founds' album). It would seem the audience were a bit less interested in New Order.

It was a strangely civilised affair, more like a cafe gig with tables, chairs and candles on the go. Walter played an electric guitar through some effect pedals (until one of his cables died and he had to sack off the pedals) and worked through his back catalogue - Rival Schools classics like 'Good Things' and 'Used For Glue' in amongst his solo stuff and various random cover versions (he seemed pleased that a Manchester audience requested his cover of 'How Soon Is Now?'), chatting about the songs and attempting to engage the audience in between, and sticking around to chat to people afterwards. It was a good show but probably too large a venue for the size of audience. I'd definitely see him again though.


Jonah Matranga played at The Star and Garter on 23rd April. Essentially he was playing in a bit of pub. This felt like a proper DIY show, no stage, minimal fuss. All the acts were playing acoustic, and I recall Crywank being both brilliantly named and pretty good, and Kelly Kemp being excellent (check her out here:

However everyone was there for Jonah. He is perhaps best known for his old band Far, whose album 'Water and Solutions' is an underrated classic. He opened the show with a Deftones cover, speaking openly and touchingly about his friend Chi Cheng, the late Deftones bassist, then playing his tribute to Chi 'At Night We Live' as well as massive chunks of the aforementioned Far album and various selections from his many projects such at New End Original's 'Lukewarm' and Onelinedrawing's 'Smile'.

Jonah has a different approach to shows than most. In a fairly small room the whole thing felt like a conversation between artist and audience, with him actively encouraging us all to sing along, even clarifying the lyrics for some parts before starting on parts people would otherwise mumble over. He told us stories between songs, including a cringeworthy tale regarding Far's cover of 'Pony' by Ginuwine being played at his daughter's prom, a song which is a long metaphor for sex and features the line "juices dripping down your thigh" - awkward!

People use the phrase 'intimate gig' as euphemism for a tiny, poorly attended show. This felt intimate in a truer sense, like he was playing this show just for you, and you'd all become his friends. It felt like the gigs I used to play when I was 17-18 in pubs, with no managers or rock star bullshit, just people wanting to have a good time, people striking up conversations with strangers (hello incredibly tall man from Hull in the unlikely event you're reading!). It felt like a secret show, or a house party gig. I left feeling inspired.

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

I gone done an album:

It is FREE

Sunday, 23 September 2012

The Malarky EP

In the long gap between posts I've mostly been working.

I've also been working on an album.

But before I release my album, here's some tracks I wanted to get out to avoid the temptation of putting these on the album!

It's free but you have the option of giving me money if you like!

I'll be dumping more writing both here and on Hubpages in the next couple of months, including various bits from an unpublished fanzine

Saturday, 16 July 2011


This is possibly the best album I've heard so far this year!

Wugazi is basically a mash up of Wu Tang Clan raps and Fugazi riffs, with a mix of hip hop beats and the original Fugazi drums.

If you've got even the vaguest interest in either artist, or even if you haven't, I urge you to check this out!