Some Poems 1998? - 2003?

Typed up from the archives. some of them may well have been lyrics at some point. Some soppy as fuck stuff in here, and some nonsense.

While doing this archiving I remembered that I destroyed at least half of everything I'd ever written during an episode of depression in my 2nd year of university. I'll have to assume most of it was worse than this ;)

_______

The whole room smells like wasp

Coming for the 7th china

I’ve seen the camel stoppard

Even if it floats

_______

Moobaa

The chimp chi ping

Screaming at the button

Find a way to steal the pit

Falling from Swansea

_______

Under

The fault lines

It’s clear as day

The way

It pulled you in

And burned up everything

The simple and the

Underlying

The complex

Now they are just

Like they always were

Just like they always were

_______

Hope for a new day

You must know that this comes straight from the heart

Somehow I knew it right from the start

Filling my dreams with nothing but you

I might not be perfect, but you're not quite too

The most chance of meetings, a cold winter night

Then nothing for months once out of my sight

But just one year later, your address I saw

I knew from that moment that I wanted more

The purest love could have lasted for years

We had some great times and we had some tears

Eight months later we stared at the stars

I think we knew then that we couldn't go far

So I'll accept defeat by circumstance

And always remember our final dance

But my romantic's brain will never change tack

And I'll dream of the day that I'll have you back

_______

Chicken chi in a fat child’s coffin

Stealing fish from a Chinese elf

Stalking cheese for sport or leisure

Keeping a record of interesting ham

_______

What we’ve got is sinking

Does that get you thinking

If all the ways you could escape

But the routes are twisted

Lifeboats unlisted

I’ve seen your eyes stare into space

_______

You wake up in a pool of something sticky

Waiting for the alarm

To stop

To die

You hear breathing in the trees

Something living

Something

You find it

Seeping into your skin

Taking you

Piece

By

Piece

Finally you realise

There are no more words

_______

Instant Message

I’ve never met you

But I’m sad you’re leaving

We got on so well

But we’ll never talk

I never saw you

I’ll never see you

You could be anything

Is it better this way?

_______

If the words we say

The choices we make

Come to nothing

If this is how it has to be

I don’t want to feel anything

Anymore

Sometimes it’s all a mass of pain and impossible to read or interpret

Sometimes I can make out

Tangible parts

Reasons

Excuses

But never the real cause

_______

ice and fire. 5/9/03

your attitude

depends on the situation

so pretend that this shitty disco

is your natural habitat

if you're so sure

of what you want and what you need

then tell me what you really mean

with this frozen heart charade

but if you try

to find the truth in yourself

maybe you will find

these harsh actions won't help

they only make it worse

and only you don't see

how obvious that was

and how it's killing me

so watch it burn

_______

What happened to me today? Jan 2002

I came to see you.

Maybe to patch things up

Maybe just to get my CD's back.

Two weeks since you brought it to an end

Two weeks of nothing inside.

You couldn't handle me living so far away.

We both needed more affection

But I needed you more than I'm ever going to let on.

Today I accepted what has passed.

We'll torture ourselves for a few weeks

Then live with the consequences

And think about what could have been.

What should have been.

And I'll go back without hope

And you'll just cry

Trying to sift through the confusion

Of what happened tonight.

A love that could never die

Left wounded with ends untied.

_______

Release

I’m leaving this town

As soon as I can

Nothing here for me

Only ignorance

Hate this place so much

Take it off the map

No one here for me

Only losers

Release me

Save me from isolation

Release me

Save me from degradation

Release me

Or else I’ll die and rot here

Release me

Or else I’ll waste away

I need to escape soon

No horse loser town

Nothing here for me

Only emptiness

Still some trapped in here

Scraping at the sides

Nothing here for me

Only loneliness

_______

Catcher in the rye

Spent you life digging your own hole

Back to the place where they took your soul

I know I’ve seen your face before

Haunts my dreams

Try to run, try to hide

Can’t escape the pain inside

Want to kick, poison state

All there’s left to do is hate

And the riot in the streets below

Years of tension start to show

I’d join in if I knew how

Nothing else can stop me now

The Skerry Hill: Clouds Keep Us Warmer

At some point in either 2016 or 2017 I decided to release all my new music under one name. I the decided to re-release some previous music under the same name. These songs were originally on an album called Clouds Keep Us Warm (which can be found here: https://lukechant.bandcamp.com )

It's now a mini album called Clouds Keep Us Warmer, which can be found just about everywhere where music is sold or streamed e.g. https://open.spotify.com/album/5j3wtipMRu7IEbzqyI30ew

1. One Time

This could take you by surprise 
So scrape the smoke out from your eyes 
See the truth s clear as day 
Before it all gets blown away 

One time 
You could be everything 

Now I'll take you by the hand 
And show you all my stupid plans 
You could laugh or run away 
No one's forcing you to stay 
But I'd rather you stay 

One time 
You could be everything 

Maybe I should stop it all 
Or maybe it's true 
May this is stupid 
Or deeper than you 
But one thing that's certain 
Is it's happening 

One time 
You could be everything to me

2. Desu

It seems that you've got confused, this is 
Piccadilly station not Harajuku 
She's drawing sad animals for me to hug 
Guess that's what it takes 
But I won't tell anyone 

She's never been to a music festival 
She files her books in Dewey decimal 
Her hair is impossibly angular 
Works in retail as a customer wrangler 

And I guess that's ok 
I'd rather see some 
yellow red and purple 
than another 50 shades of grey 
Which she won't read until it comes out in Manga form 
And If comes to a choice 
Between Japanese 
and JD Sports 
Then shove me on a plane to Tokyo

3. Rain Flavoured

Instrumental

4. Low Fidelity

it starts with a motion 
keeping in time 
a little emotion 
and i'll soon be fine 
a girl with potential 
to be in my life 
a girl with potential 
to be someone's wife 

slow down 
slow down 
i will soon be here so won't you 
look into my eyes and tell me 
that i might take his place inside you 
but i can't take that place inside your heart 

so how are you doing? 
at last were alone 
you turn the light out 
i'll turn off my phone 
i'm happy to play this game 
in your careful web of lies 
there's a pain inside you 
you try so hard to disguise 

so slow down 
slow down 
now that i am here why don't you 
look into my eyes and tell me 
that i can take his place inside you 
but i can't take that place inside your heart 

so slow down 
slow down 
before i try to leave why don't you 
look into my eyes and tell me 
that i might take that place inside you 
but i can't take that place inside.. 

now slow down 
slow down 
before i try to leave why don't you 
look into my eyes and tell me 
that i might take that place inside you 
now that i took his place inside your heart

5. Serration

V1: 
Never met you 
So I can't miss you 
Never knew you 
But feel the pain you caused 

Your selfish actions 
Sent out shockwaves 
Your influence 
More important than you thought 

Chorus: 
Why'd you have to leave? 
Took her heart away 
Left with emptiness 
She just takes the blame 

Why'd you have to leave? 
Took her heart away 
Left with emptiness 
She just takes the blame 

V2: 
Never met you 
So I can't miss you 
But I know her 
And I feel the pain you caused 

You have my sympathy 
She has my empathy 
This changes everything 
But nothing's truly lost

6. Breaker

Instrumental

7. Bricks

Dust will 
Wash away 
Bricks are 
Here to stay 
Scrape away the mortar 
As you build this wall 
To Keep you safe from harm 
And no one can break in 

Close your 
Self off 
From the 
Waking world 
Block out all thew sunlight 
Burns your eyes 
Build it up so high 
You can't come down 

Smash it 
Break it 
Tear it down 
Rend it 
Tear it 
It's all over now

8. This Is Not A Temporary Situation

i thought i had it all 
but how was i to know 
hindsight makes it obvious 
but how was i to know 
at first all i could do was hate 
but now i realise 
you had to choose a path to take 
and it was never going to be mine 

i need to have control 
or else i'll fall apart 
decide to let you know 
the pieces of my heart 
the only thing that helps 
is making myself numb 
can't seem to let you go 
i can't avoid it 

wish that you could feel 
what burns inside of me 
maybe we'll never find 
what we really want to say 
our emotions locked inside 
here's the key but who will drive 
how could you ever understand 
you're still hiding from yourself 

this is not a temporary situation 
i really thought i'd done it this time 
but if i made plans i'd be using an obvious cliche 
and that really wouldn't do you justice 

i can't tell you what i need anymore 
nothing i can do will make you change 
i can't stand in the way of what you have to be 
all i want is just a moment with you

Snowdrone

For a surprisingly long time I was in a band called Snow aka Snowdrone aka Snow,drone and possibly even Snow(drone).

The band officially no longer exists.

We were described as Manchester's Premier Lo FI Half Arsed Drone Band. By Ourselves.

No streaming site will accept the recordings we did.

Here's a dropbox link i'll probably leave here.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/4lxmrll6rvtpu0r/AABobai9CgnbiIB5Hpwvkp6Ha?dl=0

At least one of the songs had words.

Here they are:

When they found the bodies

Takes a hardy shovel

To make a hole that fits

This precious cargo

Dragged onto the lawn

Spends the night performing

This silent ritual

Then comes the morning

The fresh earth levelled out

Underneath the soil

The evidence will rot

From the highest window

Eyes have watched with fear

When they found the bodies

The wounds were still intact

Wrapped in black

Emeralds for eyes

Old lyrics dump: Further From The Truth aka Modest Unknown aka October Crisis

Formed in 2004 or 2005, initially called Modest Unknown (band name generator), then October Crisis (loads of bands already called that), then Further From The Truth (name since taken by another band, and they are welcome to it). I played guitar and sang, as per usual. I quit in 2007 I think. I believe there are tracks somewhere online if you look hard enough.

Anyway, words to old songs you probably never heard.

Set The Fire

V1

Keeping me in check
Your word barely believable
But I don't dare
I don't dare to mention

I gave you a blank cheque
To wrap your head around my heart
So if you pull away
It might just kill me

C

Only for a short time
This fire burns so bright
After it goes out there'll be
Nothing to relight
My love could you please
Cut me some slack
I've been working towards nothing
Waiting for you to take me back

V2

Longer that i wait
The scene gets less believable
How can I stand to watch
This happen to me?

Still I stand and wait
But by now I should know that
You aren't coming out
To see me

V3

If I try to make amends
I'll only fuck it up again
Stretch myself too thin
Have I learnt nothing?

And as the flames die out
We'll have something to talk about
And go our separate ways
At least that's something
_______

Slow Poet

V1

Don't ask me
That question
It's almost the same as before

Please tell me
Your secrets
'Cause you almost have all of mine

Well I never we're not together
And I don't like it, I've tried to hide it
I broke my promise, I broke our hearts
Then the tears start

C

It seems like I could walk away
Still can't say if I can change
And now I know what I want to say
But you're too far away
I'd be recalled if I had a maker
I wish I could see you later
And now I know just what to say
But you're too far away

V2

You made clear
Your feelings
But actions scream over the words

And I know
I've fucked it
'Cause I was just well out of line

In this chaos and confusion
I've found out what this really means
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
_______

Worst Case Scenario aka Infinity and Beyond

A sigh
From the heaviest of hearts
Perhaps not the greatest of starts
Forever calling your name
And I try
To make sense of these parts
Why is this always so hard
I've listened to your words

With the world by your side
You open up your eyes
And why should I try
To make sense

I'm sure you'll come around but I already know
What you're going to say
Tell me to sort my life out even though yours is
Going the same way

Is that back around
Or straight down?

With the world by your side
You open up your eyes
And why should I try
To make sense

Maybe
If you didn't act that way
Then maybe
They won't treat you that way
The first time is once more than never
That's too many times for us to remember
We try to take and take an equal part
But that's where all the trouble starts
Too much implied
In the space between your lines
I'm screaming out your name

With the world by your side
You open up your eyes
And why should I try
To make sense

Is this the worst case scenario?
Is this the worst you've even known?
Is this the worst case scenario?
I don't think I know.
_______

Shaolin Soccer

Break
Down
All of this
Tear
Down
This edifice
Work
Out
All the ways
You
Find
Yourself again

You keep
Your phone on
You sleep
With one eye open

Watch a world go by
That never could be yours
Lay awake at night
Blaming others

Starve
Yourself
Of oxygen
Keep
Yourself
Alive somehow
Last
Time
You realise
First
Time
You've wondered why
_______

Lohan

Is this a new beginning
Or just a new false ending
I'm tired of being this way
If only one girl could say
"Come with me
and take my hand
'cause this will all be yours"

So what
We broke up again
but we'll make up again
So what
You changed your mind again
I want this time again

What's said behind closed doors
Should not go any further
These guarantees don't exist
We always took that risk

Is this the only way?
Keep This all so strained
Damaged beyond repair
But deeper hooks refuse to tear
Lying to ourselves
That this will be ok
Pull yourself out of the wreckage
And crawl away
_______

Hydro Active

You let me in to your house

Spoke to me and then you disappeared

So I make some tea for us both

Now yours is cold

And you come back

But you couldn’t find it anywhere

But you couldn’t find it anywhere

What it was you don’t share

So you asked me to look

And I still don’t know what for

But you said I’d know

If I ever saw it

But I couldn’t find it anywhere

But I couldn’t find it anywhere

What it was you don’t share

So it it hydro active

Or just some kind of metaphor

Don’t know what you mean

Don’t know what you want it for

And if I walk out now

I’ll never know the score

And if I stick around

I might know what I’m waiting for

_______

Monkey’s Reason

Now you’ve given back the keys

Could you get out of my shed

Couldn’t you do this earlier

A monkey’s reason is his own

Impermanence

Infinity

Irrelevance

What you say

What you mean

What you are

Give the the lyrics to your song

And I’ll try to sing along

Give me a theory to explain

And I’ll spell it out again

Ask me to play a minor chord

And I’ll know you’re getting bored

_______

Bad Intentions

I can’t see through all the lies

But I know the only thing you want is what you despise

I’ve been told a thousand times

But nothing adds up but the meaningless shit you all spout

I’ve tried to get along without those tricks

The depths that some will sink to just for cheap thrills

I’ve seen the aftermath of misjudged actions

But all the help I give is thrown back in my face

I suppose you think I’m fine

I take the knocks but I’m too easily damaged

I’m glad I’m not like them but it’s so hard

To know that bad intentions always work best

Give me my dignity

Give me the truth

Doesn’t that word mean anything anymore?

Give me a moment of your precious time

Or else there’ll be no one left to turn to

When it all goes wrong for you

I need my friends more than they’ll ever know

A few kind words make all the difference to me

My empathy has only made things worse

It makes me wonder why I even try at all

_______

Nuisance Grounds aka Floors and Sofas akaSurprise Surprise

Out come old notes

Filled with numbers

Old solutions

Ways to help me fill life up

It’s a waking

nightmare

Saving for evacuation

From daily interrogation

Cover ups

Pale white lies

It’s none of your fucking business

I’m the one who has to live this

_______

October Crisis

V1

I know that smell

It’s your Chanel

Drifting across my nose

But it’s not you

It’s not you

Outside this place

I thought I saw your face

Again

But those clothes aren’t yours

My eyes fall to the floor

Fall to the floor

C

I know you’ll understand

If I fall at your feet

I’ll think back to last October

And smile at your memory

V2

With that I could be there

To smell your hair

But I know that it’s too much to ask

To have you here

I can’t help but miss

Your voice and your words

And my eyes still get caught

By those who steal your style

But they don’t have your smile

V3

So I bring this to an end

About time too

And I’ll stop living in the past

And just move on

Only in the month that hurts

We must hold on

Only in the month that hurts

It’s too fucking cold

_______

(a completely different song called) October Crisis

Cat bring myself to say

This to you

Or about you

‘Cause love gets in the way

Of logic

And reason

Why waste my time pretending

That this should never end

Waste my time defending actions

I can not amend

And hold on to the hope

That I know will fade

And wilt

And die

Another October crisis

Where I lose my way

Always an October crisis

Because misery is cyclical

Only

In

The

Month

That

Hurts

Can

I

Be-

Come

So

Small

_______

Burning Fuses

In your eyes

Burning fuses

Glowing

Smouldering like the wreckage

It rages inside you

Intense and pure

Intense and pure

These burning fuses

That tell their own tales

Must be something that I said

A simple language

That no one can speak

And never can be read

And what if I

We’re to walk right out tonight

Would you mind

Or would it be the final time?

It never made sense anyway

It never made sense anyway

How can I make it up to you

When you won’t answer

Why should I make it up to you

When I can’t see where it went wrong 

A fire inside

That nothing can quell

Pour on more alcohol

But when you want this

It just takes one kiss

And I’ll sing along

And this is why

We will never get it right

And maybe I

Could get that one last kiss tonight

Like something from a movie

Like something from a film

It don’t make sense

But then what fucking does

This time I won’t be so scared

This time I’m the most prepared

But it’s too late

It’s too late